Nige 54 - The Column





April 2004


Yes boys and girls - The Nigester is back!

I returned only days ago from a most triumphant four week journey of New York, Miami (which included Spring Break), Rio de Janeiro and L.A. But I now find myself back in front of my computer cataloguing a couple of hundred photos while reflecting on perhaps the greatest month of my life. And yes, I have enough debaucherous tales to write yet another book - only god knows when I will find time to write that!

But as I now turn to this month's column, I find my mailbag packed with some very interesting issues to discuss and the following are my favourites for the month of April.

So without further delay, in we go!
Nigester!

I've just finished reading "Around The World In 80 Babes!" and thanks to you, in the last few months I have really started to hit my straps. But there is something you don't touch on and I was wondering......

How do I pick up a hot barmaid?

Johnny - London, U.K.

Johnny!

Now that is a very, very good question.

Men throughout the world have continually struggled with the hot barmaid concept. Do I always buy my drinks off her? Do I leave a big tip? Do I keep coming back week after week hoping she remembers me?

The answers - no, no and NO!

The main thing to remember about any chick working at a bar/nightclub, especially a hot one is that she is probably banging the bar manager. If not the bar manager, she'll be banging one of the other bartenders or one of the bouncers. Why? Well because they all finish work at the same time and hang out at the bar after closing as every other place is shut, what else is there to do but hook up?

And even if the hot barmaid you are targeting is no longer banging the bar manager/bartender/bouncer she will, in most cases, feel uncomfortable fraternising with the clients with her ex watching her every move.

So the question is - can it be done?

Yes it can, but man it is tough. You really have to be lucky and be in the right place at the right time. Nevertheless, here are The Nigester's keys to success to help you climb Everest:
  • Start with her name and make sure you introduce yourself, but don't be obvious about it.

  • Always smile and if you have any witty things to say, then this is the time - but don't be a dick.

  • If you are in packed nightclub or bar your chances are next to none, so visit the nightclub or bar on a quieter night and strike up a conversation. This happened to me when I was once at a quiet hotel bar in Frankfurt, Germany. There weren't many of us at the bar, so over time I was able to establish that the hot barmaid - Kitty - always stayed over at the hotel after working a long shift and that she had access to the sauna and spa complex. Well after the bar closed and she had cleaned up I arranged to meet her down at the sauna/spa complex and you can guess the rest......but what the hell, I'll tell you anyway. We banged in the pool, the showers and all over the sauna baby! Woohoo!

  • But the big key is this - "if you don't ask, you don't get!" Remember that really hot barmaids may not get asked out that often because most guys are too intimidated to ask. So if she is not banging the bar manager, you may just be a chance - you just have to ask.
One final point - if you get her name, leave a good impression and perhaps know where she hangs out, rather than try to pick her up in a crowded bar, organise a time to "bump into her". Approach her confidently, remind her as to who you are, what a great night you had and how you would have asked her out but didn't think that the environment was appropriate. Let her smile, pause and then ask her out. As she will appreciate your honesty, she'll probably say yes. If not, at least you know to no longer waste your time on her. But if she says "yes", take her out, show her an amazing time and then you, my friend, will be the guy banging the hot barmaid!

Best of luck!

The Nigester
Nige!

I am banging a few chicks but I think they too are banging a few guys as they sound "a bit funny" when I ask them if they have been behaving themselves during the weekends in which I don't see them. How do I keep them exclusively to me?

Brad - Fremantle, Western Australia.

Brad,

Why are you even asking that question? All you are doing is highlighting your insecurities. Girls don't like that and if you keep investigating their activities they will stop answering their phone. Just play it cool.

And why do you want to make them exclusive? Who cares? Just keep banging and keep showing them who the man is and exclusivity will come as a result.

Regards,

Nige
Nige 54!

In continuation of last month where you outlined the best places to go out in Melbourne and Sydney, I was wondering what your thoughts on London were. I'm about to head over for a couple of years and would like to start on the right foot.

Thanks,

Scott - Cairns, Queensland.

Scotty too Hotty!

I haven't been in London for a couple of years but my favourite bars were:
  1. Zoo Bar - Simply the best. Situated in Leicester Square, this place attracts all of the international babes and it features frequently throughout "Around The World In 80 Babes!" From the porno couches, the cool music and sexy drinks, you can never fail to have the ultimate time here every Saturday night.

  2. On Anon - With eight or nine different style rooms over six levels and situated in the heart of Piccadilly Circus, you can't go wrong.

  3. Sportscafe - Massively underrated. The only bar in London that is open to 3am every night and often the first stop for all American babes, this place is a stack of fun. Especially great to pop in for the quick pick-up at 2am after the other clubs have closed. Sensational on Fridays.

  4. Tiger Tiger - Another huge London club situated across the road from the "Sportscafe" that attracts the after work crowd every night of the week. You'll also find your far share of international babes but bring plenty of cash.

  5. China White - London's most exclusive club. Good luck getting in, but if you can wing it make sure you have your two or three gold credit cards with you. Here is where you'll mix with models, actresses and movie stars. The "Studio 54" of London.
Also check out "Bar 38" and "Long Island Ice Tea Bar" in Leicester Square, "Shoeless Joes" which is another popular after work venue and for some great little slappers, head to "Roadhouse" in Covent Garden. "Slug & Lettuce" in Fulham is also great fun...there are just SO MANY to choose from - man, answering this letter is making me miss London like crazy!

But notice how I did not mention any of the tradition places such as "The Walkabout" or "The Church". These are pathetic sess pits full of drunk Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans. The guys stink, the chicks are fat and your attendance here is a complete waste of your time. You are in London to bang hot international babes, not to pick up ugly New Zealand girls with no teeth, so black ban these establishments immediately!

Best of luck mate!

Nige 54

Email: nige54@nige54.com