Nige 54 - The Column December 2004 With summertime now in full swing here in Australia, the bars and nightclubs are really starting to heat up as over the last few weeks Melbourne's most exclusive clubs have been nothing short of outstanding. The babes are welcoming in the summer with a severe lack of clothing and as the heat on the dancefloor forces a few random beads of sweat to glisten and then slide down the lower back of some of the hottest babes, you then know it's 'go time' and hopefully the results speak for themselves. But as we enter the Christmas season and 2004 reaches its conclusion, most of us will find ourselves entering the inevitable 'time for reflection' phase of the year. When this happens, ask yourself the tough question as to whether your results in the babe department were in line with the objectives you set yourself at the start of the year. And if your answer is in the negative then treat yourself as 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' could be the perfect gift for your Christmas stocking. Or maybe you will be sitting across the Christmas dinner table from the most amazing babe as you both rush to finish so you can resume activities in the bedroom, yet your buddy down the end of the table is drowning himself in pudding after a very disappointing year - then 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' is probably the perfect gift for him. Or maybe and most importantly, you are a hot babe who is sitting at the head of the Christmas dinner table surrounded by your so called 'guy friends' who have been hanging around you all year as they continue to 'hope' for some action. Do you wish they would just go out, transform themselves from pussies to men and find their own girlfriends or at the very least get some regular action? If so, then 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' is definitely the perfect gift for them. Just like with presents, there are many decisions to be made at this time of year and one of the most important decisions is how many drinks (and perhaps babes) you will pound at the office Christmas Party. Without doubt, these parties always provide the opportunities and the landmines that will either make or break your year, so for Nige 54's guide to a successful evening at the office Christmas Party click immediately to the December 2003 column and tear it up! On a personal note 2004 has been a very exciting year. Besides the official launch of 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' THE number one highlight was my four week vacation in March/April that took me to New York, South Beach Miami, Rio de Janeiro and Manhattan Beach L.A. At every one of these stunning locations Spring Break was in full swing and due to the people I met, the crazy times I experienced and the nudity that resulted, I have to say that it was the best month of my life. Also, thanks to this trip I now have enough material for not only a sequel but a third book to complete the '80 Babes' trilogy - now I just have to find the time to write them! Insert publishing contract here. For 2005 I do not have any overseas adventures planned at this stage, but the New Year should still bring some fun surprises......exactly to what extent they will present themselves I am not yet sure, so I suppose like everything in life, only time will tell. Ok, that's about it for 2004, but before I run off into the summer sun and into a flurry of naked breasts, on behalf of everyone here at NIGE54.COM I would like to take this opportunity to THANK-YOU for your support, comments, ideas and at times, criticism throughout the year. But most importantly, I would like to thank you all for the contributions you made throughout 2004 and whether it be the stories you sent in, the links to dodgy websites you provided or even the photos of your accomplishments, they were all greatly appreciated and here's to more of the same in 2005! Have a very Merry Christmas everybody, enjoy your time with those around you and have a happy, safe and prosperous 2005 that I hope brings you all the nudity you desire. Still banging, Nige 54 "THE 2004 NIGE 54 AWARDS - THE NIGESTERS" Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the inaugural presentation of "The 2004 Nige 54 Awards" otherwise known as "The Nigesters". To be nominated for a "Nigester" there is no real set criteria other than a person or an establishment making an outstanding contribution to life, partying, nudity and all round non-stop madness that inspires everyone around this person or establishment to enjoy life to the full. Consequently, a person or establishment who inspires the exact opposite of this must also be recognised to ensure this patheticness is laughed at and hopefully never repeated. Throughout the year, the founding members of "The Nige 54 Academy" have worked tirelessly conducting a regular and often mentally exhaustive analysis to decide who the winners will be - in other words, we all went to the bar during Happy Hour with a pad and pen and got fucked up. So here, at NIGE54.COM and for the very first time, we have much pleasure in awarding "The Nigesters" to the following winners: Best Party Location: South Beach Miami during Spring Break. Without doubt just an awesome place to be where everyone has the exact same objectives - nudity, drinking and more nudity. Spring Break in Miami again shows that it is the American babes that are the best party girls on earth. Best Beach: Ipanema Beach in Rio de Janeiro. With the amount of hot Brazilian women in G-Bangers numbering close to infinity, the cheap alcohol and delicious food, it doesn't get any better than this. Manhattan Beach in Los Angeles finishes a very close second for its 'Baywatch' resemblance and very welcoming and absolutely stunning L.A. babes. Best Bar: A "Nigester" is awarded here to both 'Sharkeez' in Hermosa Beach, Los Angeles & 'The Clevelander' in Miami. Both places have so many hot chicks and are so much fun it is nearly indescribable. Ladies night in 'Sharkeez' is perhaps the only ladies night in the world where the babes out number the guys two and sometimes three to one while 'The Clevelander's' Saturday afternoon bikini contests are simply sublime. Best Nightclub: 'Nikki Beach Club' in Miami & 'Boutique' in Melbourne. Two very different places but both take home a "Nigester" for their amazing atmospheres, super cool music and their awesome clientele. Best Time to Get Action: - Boston or 'Beantown' is well renowned for being a sensational party town primarily because of its huge student population. Now, multiply that energy, drunkenness and desire for nudity by excitement and adulation released on the night the Boston Red Sox won the World Series for the first time in eighty-six years and you have a potent mix that would result in even the most prudent babe becoming a fully fledged porn star. The seven days after the Boston Red Sox's victory would have been the most debaucherous time for anyone in the entire state of Massachusetts and if anyone can take themselves anyway from their bedrooms, your "Nigester" is ready for collection. The record number of births in Boston in nine months time will be no coincidence. Best Sports Team: Any Australian football team not involved in a gang rape allegation during 2004. We are still trying to find the winner. Worst Sports Team: The Australian athletic team. Another massive disappointment at the Athens Olympics in what is becoming an all too common occurrence. The Aussie athletics team is a whole lot of bark with very little bite as they need to understand that while it is all very well to be living off sponsorship dollars, partying around the world and getting plenty of action, the most important thing is to combine that with results. Therefore when you are representing your country, it is best to participate in these kinds of adventures AFTER you have actually competed. Get a clue and lift your game guys! Best Film: It has actually been a pretty shitty year for films with the best offering being 'Fahrenheit 9/11'. So with that being the case, the guys over at www.bangbus.com will walk away with this year's "Nigester" for their phenomenal selection of films made in Miami and for a couple of months this year, parts of Eastern Europe. Well done boys - great work! Best T.V. Show: 'CSI Miami'. A sexy, fast moving show centred around the crazy lifestyle that is Miami. Emily Proctor who plays Calleigh Duquesne is simply divine. Best Actor: Tom Cruise. He has been single since January 2004 and most likely shagging some of the greatest babes of all time. With two new blockbusters coming out in the next two years - 'War of the Worlds' and 'Mission Impossible 3' - this guy is easily the biggest star and the most eligible bachelor on the planet. Babe of the Year: Jessica Simpson. She's hot, she's blonde, a Southern Belle and watching her on 'Newlyweds' in nothing short of hilarious. Her upcoming role in 'The Dukes of Hazzard' opposite Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville could result in this film being the comedy of 2005. Nick Lachey, your days are numbered. Best Crackwhore: Nicole Richie. 'Simple Life 2' has again shown us what a debaucherous young girl Nicole is and how she would be absolutely awesome to have in a threesome. Biggest Pussy: This year I heard first hand about a guy who was so infatuated by this chick that when she told him that she was moving from Perth to Melbourne (effectively like moving from L.A. to New York), he offered to drive her car from one side of the country to another while she travelled by plane in the hope of getting some action. Needless to say that while she did pay for his flight back home, he left Melbourne empty handed. Oh man, I am still laughing myself silly about that one!! Therefore this guy wins not only a "Nigester" but I will gladly send him a free copy of 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' as boy does he need it! Biggest Pretender: Mark Philippoussis. Another wasted year from the guy who promises so much but rarely delivers - just ask Delta Goodrem. Worst Fashion Sense: Any guy still wearing a pink T-Shirt. I spoke about this nearly a year ago in my January 2004 column and can not believe that the summer has again brought out these homosexual clothing items. Can someone perhaps contact a member of parliament to introduce some legislation??? Best Song: 'Stupid Disco (Make Your Move)' by Junior Jack. Not only the best song of this year but possibly the best song from the last five years. If this is the last song you are dancing to with a hot babe before you take her home, then you are a guaranteed the hottest and sweatiest sex possible. Giddiup! Best Music Video: 'Call On Me' by Eric Prydz. Just so awesome and even more amazing to watch while copping a BJ from the awesome babe you just brought home from the club. Giddiup again! Best Song Artist: Usher. He is just killing it right now after winning four American Music awards, eleven Billboard Magazine Music Awards and get ready for him to clean up at the Grammy Awards on February 13th. The amount of awesome babes he must be pounding sends shivers down the spine. Best Magazine: Playboy. Their 50th Anniversary Edition this year was unbelievable as it showcased the most amazing women from the last fifty years and it also included an interview with the ultimate womaniser and swashbuckler of the 20th century - Jack Nicholson. Best Website: You're on it. Best Book: Hopefully you've read it. Now we move on to the two platinum coated "Nigesters" for 2004. The Most Outstanding Performance in a Celebrity Sex Video: Carrie Tucker who was Miss New York in 2000. Her homemade porn tape surfaced earlier this year and it is just brilliant. As a result Miss Tucker easily knocks Miss Hilton from her throne and takes home the first platinum "Nigester" for 2004. Well done Carrie and let's go straight to the big screen to see Miss Tucker in action The 2004 Errol Flynn Lifetime Achievement Award: This year's most prestigious Award has been won by one of my personal heroes. This gentleman was born into a talent rich family and by his early twenties he had already established himself as a huge Hollywood star, he was the hottest bachelor on the planet and he found himself in the middle of the ultimate party decade - the 1980s. For the next fifteen years he slept with just about every awesome babe in Hollywood, which included ringing up a $50,000 tab with Heidi Fleiss's escort agency. For the record, it must be noted that Heidi Fleiss's escorts were anything but gutter whores - they were phenomenal babes who were waitresses, actresses and models looking to make some extra cash and pay their bills. And just when you thought this man had done it all and had lived out every man's wildest fantasies thousands of times over, he lifted his game to another level by dating actual porn stars such as Ginger Lynn Allen and Brittany Ashland where his exploits are well known as he described the sex as nothing short of incredible. Yes, this man's drug addictions were also well highlighted throughout his career and they did nearly result in his death. But like all true champions, this man recovered and just when he was on the brink of his career collapsing, he scored the lead role in 'Spin City' and started dating one of the most seductive babes on the planet, Denise Richards - who he eventually married in June 2002. Hollywood's hottest couple were a perfect match, he was drug and alcohol free and in March this year they gave birth to their first child which coincided with his new sitcom 'Two and a Half Men' scorching the ratings. Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the 2004 Errol Flynn Lifetime Achievement Award is......Mr. Charlie Sheen! Well thank-you everyone as that concludes "The Nigesters" for 2004. It's been a star studded evening with a few surprise winners that I'm sure will lead to action-a-plenty at the various after parties. So good night everybody and don't forget that your vote counts so please do not hesitate to send in your nominations for next year's awards throughout 2005. And always remember, I love it and so do you! Email: nige54@nige54.com