Nige 54 - The Column March 2005 I have two words for you - SPRING BREAK. That's right Nigeamaniacs, it is one of the greatest times of the year and for all those lucky enough to be venturing to Spring Break this year, you will love this month's special Spring Break edition. For those not going, this month's column will inspire you to start planning for next year as Spring Break is possibly the greatest excuse ever invented for hot babes to party, take off their clothes and dabble in some of the deepest depths of debauchery. But before we jump into my 2005 Spring Break Special, I have to comment on two issues: Firstly, Charlie Sheen. After awarding Charlie the 2004 Errol Flynn Lifetime Achievement Award in the December 2004 column, we have recently learnt that his stunning wife, Denise Richards, has filed for divorce while pregnant with their second child. Charlie, I am praying that you weren't stupid enough to cheat on such an amazing wife as the reason you won this award was due to your transformation from ultimate player to ultimate family man once you had met the right woman? Charlie, mate, what are you doing??? Secondly, we turn to my old pal Mark Philippoussis. Now while I never set out to give this guy crap on purpose, the fact is that I just can not help myself when he continues to do such idiotic things on a social basis while failing to capitalise on his abundance of talent and revive his flagging tennis career. Mark's latest move is to get engaged to his 18 year old Miami girlfriend Alexis Barbara only five months after meeting this hot teenage model. All I can say is that Mark has raised his stupidity levels to unprecedented heights if he believes this relationship will last. Mark, I may have said this before, but mate it is now time to seriously re-assess!!! Ok, let's Spring Break it! Nige 54, Me and five mates will be heading to Panama City Beach for Spring Break - three of us from Brisbane and two mates who are currently living in London. I have read from your column that you dominated in South Beach, Miami at Spring Break in 2004 and we are wondering if we are heading to the right place and if there are any Spring Break tips we might be able to learn from the master? Kyle - Brisbane, Queensland Kyle, Being an Aussie, it is always tough to choose your Spring Break location considering so few of us have first hand experience as to the best place to go and the pitfalls to look out for. However, the great thing about Spring Break is that because it is THE most popular college vacation of all time, it is almost impossible to choose a bad location. Every Spring Break location has hundreds of positives and very few negatives and as few websites will paint a balanced view, here is The Nigester's summary on the most popular destinations for Spring Break in 2005. Panama City Beach, Florida - This destination is referred to by many as the Mecca of Spring Break locations. With 27 miles of stunning beaches on the Florida Gulf Coast, outrageous nightlife and very liberal views on the Spring Break shenanigans, P.C.B. is tough to beat. With thousands of babes, daily wet T-shirt contests and non-stop partying, you will honestly believe you have walked into heaven. However, the key here is to book your accommodation early and research where you are staying. Many of the hotels/hostels do not allow guests and are very strict on enforcing this no matter what time of night or day it is. And as there can be nothing worse than meeting the hottest babe and getting psyched for the best sex of all time only to be cut off by the security guard at your hotel/hostel, it would be wise to consider this point carefully. Do your research and plan in advance to ensure P.C.B. lives up to all of its expectations. Daytona Beach, Florida - This is a very popular and inexpensive Spring Break location that boasts daily events, tours and contests all on the beach. It has an extensive nightlife and is also inhabited by thousands of babes eager for action. But I suppose the big "however" here is that Daytona Beach is very spread out, is inhibited by heaps of bikers and guys with massive SUVs so the traffic is hell and if you do not know the right places to go your Spring Break experience may not measure up. The police are also quick to enforce every law known to man, so if you do not know the laws (such as no alcohol on the beach) your day can easily be ruined. Overall, just too much research required and not enough variety for my liking. South Padre Island, Texas - Only minutes away from Mexico, South Padre Island is one of the hottest Spring Break locations. Drinking ages and laws are very relaxed and with endless body shots, bikini contests and bungee jumps, anything goes while partying underneath the Texan sun. The other huge great advantage at South Padre is that you probably won't find many Aussies there compared to the other Spring Break locations because it is as not as well known to would-be party animals outside of the U.S. and it is therefore not as commercial. However, South Padre is a little tougher to get to than some of the other Spring Break locations and you would want to do your research to ensure you maximise your partying opportunities compared to say Miami or Cancun where the entertainment literally hits you in the face. Speaking of which...... Cancun, Mexico - As featured in the reality film 'The Real Cancun', Cancun is a world famous Spring Break location that attracts the hottest babes from just about everywhere. Cancun's wet T-shirt contests are the greatest on earth and because this place is so popular it attracts programs like MTV that organise and sponsor concerts during the day and with the boys from 'Girls Gone Wild' filming at night, what more could you ask for? Following a week at Cancun you will be the master of the 'body shot' (amongst other sexual skills), but again, make sure you choose your accommodation carefully and do your research. South Beach, Miami - I suppose that I am a little biased in relation to this Spring Break destination due to my domination there in 2004. But the thing I love about Spring Break in South Beach is that unlike some of the other destinations, Miami is a non-stop party zone 365 days of the year - so during Spring Break everything multiplies to amazing levels. Not only do you have all of the college hotties, but South Beach is a magnet for a variety of multi-cultural babes from all corners of the world PLUS the regular Miami babes who are all simply stunning and depending on your preference, you will find 'let's get naked and have sex all night mega babes' from the ages of 18-40. In addition, South Beach presents the opportunity whereby if you are lucky enough to stumble across and connect with the right people, you could find yourself being invited to a party of someone famous because anyone who is anyone has a house in Miami. It is true that South Beach does not have as many beach parties or wet T-shirt contests as P.C.B. or Cancun and everything in Miami is a tad expensive, but this destination is the playground for the rich and famous and the bars & nightclubs are some of the greatest in the world! For some reason, other websites do not rate South Beach Miami as high as I do - probably due to the lack of P.C.B./Cancun type celebrations - but for an all round out of this world experience and if you have the cash, South Beach is the place for you For more information, accommodation and nightlife details check out www.springbreak.com So in conclusion Kyle, no matter where you go there will be thousands of hot babes looking to party and ultimately get naked and being an Aussie, you are already of the preferred variety. The main thing to think about and organise is your accommodation so that you have a suitable place to take babes that is not a six bed dorm in a shitty hostel. Spend the extra money and reap the rewards. As is the case with everything, it is purely up to you as to how much success you have and take it from me, if you keep your mind focussed on the objectives of babes and nudity rather than drinking beer bongs until you are unconscious, your Spring Break vacation could be one of the most memorable of your life. It certainly was for me. Nige 54 G'day Nige, I just have a question about Cancun......I have a few mates coming from Australia who want to go to Cancun (I know the peak of Spring Break is happening now) but we were thinking of going around June. We party hard and love to have fun, do you reckon there will be any people around at that time (pussy especially)? Also, not sure if you know, but is Cancun far from Mexico airport? Would it be cheaper to fly to Mexico then bus it or fly straight to Cancun...we have a budget so we need to know what's best. Mate, any help would be appreciated. Jason - London, U.K. Jas, Cancun can be awesome all year round but in the month of June it is the traveling gods who will decide if 5 super hot Swedish babes are also traveling at exactly the same time as you and are the first babes you meet at the bars. However, to diminish the influence of these traveling gods is the reason that most people head to Cancun during Spring Break because unlike few things in this life, you will be guaranteed the hottest college babes of all time who are all just dying to bang sexy Aussie guys. My point is this, you will have a great time at Cancun in June, but there is a good chance that it will not be as good as during Spring Break. There will be less babes and therefore probably none, if any, wet T-shirt contests on the beach and the various debauchery that results. But being summer time, there has to be a significant number of babes there, just not to the degree of Spring Break. If you do decide to go, flying straight to Cancun is always the best way to go. Another option to consider at that time of year is Miami because it is awesome all year round and of course, the Greek Islands of IOS and Corfu. During the summer time they are nothing short of sensational and full of Americans, Canadians and Scandinavians. This is because Americans and Canadians generally spend their Spring Break within the U.S. and their summer holidays in Europe. Giddiup! For a first hand account of the debaucherous heights possible, grab yourself a copy of 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' Nige Nige 54, I have just broken up with my girlfriend and I am just wondering......am I a homo for now being a huge fan of Kelly Clarkson's latest song 'Since You've Been Gone'? Dale - Bali, Indonesia Dale, You are maybe a bit of a girl, but not a homo. The fact is that it's not a bad tune, but let's keep your keenness for this song between you and me. Now Dale, if you haven't figured it out yet, you are in Bali, so the beginning of your recovery is assured. So turn off the computer, hit the bars and get to work because if you are not banging Scandinavian babes on a nightly basis, then you are just letting the best things in life pass you by. All the best! Nige 54 Email: nige54@nige54.com