Nige 54 - The Column November 2003 Hello all! Up here in Sydney, summer is effectively upon us so the bikinis will start appearing at the beach while in Melbourne the Spring Carnival is in full swing. I know my mates have already left their mark on a number of sexy young babes from both Flemington and Caulfield racecourses - well done boys, sounds like goodness is everywhere! Now, it's mailbag time! Nige! Paris Hilton and Australian Idol reject Millsy??!! How the hell did that happen??? Paul - Watsonia, Victoria. Mate you didn't have to ask, but thank-you nonetheless as I was planning to write something about this ridiculous situation anyway. For the benefit of the overseas readers of this column, the Hilton sisters have recently been on a two week tour of Australia where they have taken in the Spring Racing Carnival in Melbourne, the premiere of 'The Matrix Revolutions' in Sydney and some rest and relaxation on the Gold Coast. Throughout their stay the Australian public have been amused at their spoilt brat antics with Paris revealing herself as a real party animal (and now amateur porn star), while her younger sister Nicky has come across as the more refined and more elegant of the duo. It is now common knowledge that during 'The Matrix Revolutions' after party, Paris met Australian Idol reject Robert 'Millsy' Mills and they partied all night before Paris treated Millsy to the night of his life. Guys around Australia were yelling out 'Well done son!' one minute followed by 'You bastard!' the next. But Paul, as you have asked here, the big question is how? How does an average looking 21 year old get given the chance to bang Paris? Doesn't she have any standards? Well let's answer the second question first where it is clear that Paris has never made great decisions in relation to her choice of men so that explains why she chose Millsy - and don't forget the assistance of drugs and alcohol. Having said that, Rick Solomon must be given a solid golf clap for initially releasing the Paris Hilton sex video and then we have to congratulate him further for now suing the Hilton family for defamation in the order of $US10 million dollars. Rick, you the man! Watching 'Chris Rock Live' while having Paris give you a BJ - mate, just sensational work! In relation to Millsy and answer to the question 'How', well as I wrote about in last month's column this young man is purely a benefactor of 'dumb luck' and nothing else. Millsy was in the right place at the right time because was it just coincidence that Paris decided to have some sex on the first and only night that she did not have any engagements the next day? Of course not. Paris was itching for some cock and Millsy and his silly smirk just happened to be there. Millsy is an average looking guy at best who sings in a decent cover band but is in serious need of a career. If he realises that his night with Paris was a pure bonus and nothing else, then his ego will remain intact. However, if he ever starts thinking that HE picked up Paris and thus HE was the instigator of the evening then all he is doing is setting himself up for a huge fall. And in 12 months times there could be nothing worse for Millsy than thinking he is destined for greatness but then suddenly realising that he has to return to playing cover songs at the 'Red Eagle' and having to settle for slutty band groupies. Band sluts is probably all Millsy is good for and if he realises that and views his time with Paris as his moment in the sun, then his ego and self satisfaction will remain intact*. But I think Paris's girlfriend summoned it up beautifully in L.A. recently when she responded to the question, "So has Paris told you about Millsy from Australia?" "Oh she mentioned him briefly...but he was just some random guy," she replied. Regards, Nige 54 *Since this column was written, the author would like to acknowledge Rob Mills' performance in Wicked in 2009. Mate - great to see that you are not just a one hit wonder and are enjoying some awesome success and being an excellent example to other Australian entertainment industry professionals. Well done! Nige! I thoroughly enjoyed reading 'Around The World In 80 Babes' and just love your monthly column. So tell me...how many chicks have you shagged? More importantly, during your wild adventures have you always been able to maintain the quality? Andy - Los Angeles, California. Andy! Waassup!! Great to receive my first question from the States and thank-you for your comments. In relation to the amount of babes I've banged...well as you can probably appreciate there is no point in announcing the exact figure in this column, but I will tell you that the answer is 'shitloads'. So many babes from so many cities...I would have lost count years ago but thankfully I kept a very accurate diary each year for the last ten years or so. Recently, I thought I would attempt to establish my Top Ten and after hours and hours of debate I was finally able to establish this very exclusive club. To be even considered in the top fifty, babes these days have to be of a very special breed so you can imagine the quality of my Top Ten - which leads me onto your second question. In terms of quality, may I say that quality is what it is all about as quite simply, there is absolutely no point shagging average or below average girls. Sure, I like any man, have banged a few questionable babes but they were back in the very early days of my career and you could count the mistakes on two fingers. It is a shame that many guys fail to realise this and will happily mount anything just to 'get a root'. Andy, don't be one of those guys who for some unknown reason decides to suck face with some ugly fat chick at the end of the night. Be the man, maintain your quality and remember that if all guys gave overweight and ugly chicks zero attention then they would simply disappear like they have in L.A. and Stockholm. Ahhh L.A. and Stockholm, two of the greatest mega babe populations on the planet! Keep the dream alive! Nige 54 Nige! You spoke last month of the Halloween party you would be attending organised by the crazy Canadians in Manly. Did you have any success? Jonathan - Double Bay, New South Wales. Yes mate! I am happy to say that the Halloween party I attended lived up to all expectations. A number of hot babes were present dressed in a variety of costumes and half way through the night I did meet a well toned lass dressed in a Cinderella type costume. I ran my usual routine and after some casual flirting and seduction suggestions she suddenly whispered, "Meet me downstairs in five minutes?" Five minutes later I went downstairs into the patio area of this apartment block. She immediately pushed me up against the wall and began by giving me a sensational BJ before I bent her over a nearby picnic table, lifted her Cinderella dress up over her head and gave her a ferocious serving from behind. We then returned to the party before retreating back to my place for another heated session where during her bathroom break, I was able to position my trusty video recorder under some clothes on my desk. Hehehehe! Best Regards, Nige 54 Email: nige54@nige54.com