Nige 54 - The Column September 2005 My favourite non-sexual newsflash for September is without a doubt the return of 'Laguna Beach' on MTV. Maybe it is the stunning beachside locations that remind me of my time in Manhattan Beach or maybe it is the saucy babes that remind me of the college goddesses that I dated during my tour of the U.S.A......whichever the case, I love it and so should you! 'Laguna Beach' is back for an addictive second season and gentlemen, this is the only show where you will find the benchmarks for the kind of babes you should be dating this spring......or autumn, depending on which side of the world this column finds you. Let's mail on! Nige 54, I am competing with three other mates who are all chasing this really hot chick at university. She is just the most awesome thing on earth and I was hoping you could provide me with some techniques that ensure I win the battle over my mates. Thanks dude! Luke - Hawthorn, Victoria Luke, You are competing with your mates? Oh dear! Mate, you need to understand that absolute worst thing you can do is enter some kind of competition with your buddies because none of you will ever win her over as long as she has the balance of power. Can you just imagine the attitude this babe must have by now considering that there are four guys trying to impress her on a daily basis??? Allow me to let you in on a little secret......no matter what you do this babe will probably choose none of you because I imagine if she is as hot as you say, she is most likely already banging someone else. Picture a well built guy that is four to five years older than her who is probably a personal trainer, a try-hard DJ or something similar. However, she is yet to tell neither you nor any of your mates this because: a) she just loves the attention that you bunch of clowns are bestowing upon her, and b) none of you have bothered to ask her if she is infact available! However, assuming that she is infact available and this little contest is infact legitimate, the absolute best thing you can do is to give this babe no attention whatsoever except when you bump into her on campus or at the bar whereby you should exert all of your energy of thinking up ways to break her balls. Constantly tease her like a bratty little sister, make her laugh at all times and even drop sly comments about the both of you being nude. Now this does not mean you become a nice guy and in turn become her friend - instead act like a very confident, almost arrogant red blooded male and just watch before your eyes how the attraction powers start to take effect. While your mates are acting all nice and like a bunch of homos in an attempt to impress her, you are becoming the bad boy that she can not resist. In addition - and this is the most important point - start dating another chick, or two if possible! Now on top of everything else, you will become the guy that she is not only hopelessly attracted to, but the guy that she now can not have. Luke, this may sound unrealistic and it may take you many attempts before you are able to pull this off successfully, but can you now see the change of mindset that is necessary here for you to achieve your goals both now and in the future? Rather than compete with your mates and lose everytime, go against the grain and create your own competition whereby rather than chasing her, she is infact chasing you and thus only YOU can be the winner. Nige 54 Nige, I have just started work with a new company and I am happy to say there is a great mix of super babes and dirty chicks who I can tell just love nudity! By this I mean, there are a couple of chicks that I could perhaps see a future with and a few chicks who would be great to bend over the boardroom table on a Friday night. I remembering high fiving myself while reading about your boardroom accomplishments in 'Around The World In 80 Babes' and I am hoping to achieve similar success. So what is my strategy to enable me to bang the dirty girls while still ensuring I am a chance with the quality chicks? Tony - Detroit, Michigan Tony, Many say that, 'you should never shit where you eat' and the fact is that fewer smarter words have been spoken. Unfortunately many guys fail to understand this and the subsequent rumours and innuendo usually always causes more harm than good - especially as your accomplishments will probably make the other guys in the office jealous and if they are the ones in power, then your career could be fucked. This is especially the case if you start 'working your way around the office' with a blatant disregard to the consequences as no other act can create more tension. In 'Around The World In 80 Babes!' I did end up in the boardroom a couple of times but never with the girls from work. There are simply too many eager babes in the bars and clubs that will not provide you with the stress or uncomfortable looks when you walk past them the next day and apparently don't acknowledge them properly. I once worked with a guy who took a more long term attraction strategy and he became very skilled at scoring the office mega babes - which he did on two separate occasions. He managed to accomplish this by always working late with them, helping them through personal issues and then taking advantage of them when they were vulnerable - and all of this over a three year period. Like seriously, who could be bothered??? Yes, this guy did score some quality pussy for extended periods of time, but in both cases the babes eventually woke up to his tactics and he was left with nothing but memories which he never deserved anyway. In his times of loneliness, I think the worst thing for this guy would have been the eventual confirmation that he had always been batting out of his league and as he had no skills scoring chicks outside of work, this loser had to request an overseas transfer - not for a new start, but to find a new market of workplace babes to exploit! Very sad indeed. Overall mate, the workplace should never be your source for babes. If you think it is, well then I suggest you seriously re-assess your thought process and immediately re-read Chapter Four. Over and over, again and again. Nige Hi Nige, I have a situation for you and I am hoping you can shed some light on this one for me. This may be long-winded, but will help with a background. I have known a guy from work since 1990. When we first worked together I was married for three years and he was a single guy. He changed employment a few years later and has since married and had two kids, as have I. We met again a few years ago as we found ourselves working for the same organization again and one day, while we were out together to see a client, he made a pass at me. He later told me that he and his wife were going through a divorce which was also the case for me and my husband. So yes, we got it together for a couple of months, but when I look back now it may have been more of a fling or that we were just there for each other to lean on emotionally, especially since we had known each other for so long. A few months later we both moved on with different partners, but because of our working relationship we were still really good friends and spoke on a regular basis. About three years later I split up with my partner and I soon found out this guy also had separated from his girlfriend. Since that point in time we have talked a lot because of work and on the odd occasion he has called me after hours and just talked about kids and relationships etc. A few months ago we had a work function which was great fun and later that night I sent him a text to say that I was still keen on him and would like to get to know him better outside of work. But I did say I didn't want to rush into anything and that I just wanted to be able to spend time to get to know him. His reply was that he didn't want to rush things either, that he wanted to sort some stuff out and then he told me to "hang-in there". Then a couple of weeks before he went away he asked if I could look after his dog, which I did. When he picked up the dog a few days later he said thanks, had a beer, stayed for a couple of hours and went home. Since then he has asked me to come round to his house three weeks in a row on a Thursday night to help him with his new computer (sucker, aren't I?) and a few other things. I should also say that his kids and my kids get along really well. Anyway, a few weeks later he asked if I could look after his the dog again as he was going away again. I said yes. Then when he came to pick up the dog, he had a quick cuppa and just before he left he said he would take me out dinner one night as a thank you looking after the dog again. NOW, what I don't understand is that since then he has not made a pass, not organised our dinner date and not even given me a kiss hello or goodbye and we have known each other for over 15 years! The other confusing thing is that if you, as a guy, knew a girl was still keen on you, would you still keep asking her the come over for lame reasons such as helping him set up his new computer even though you do not make a move??? I just don't get it! Am I being taking advantage of here or is he seeing how the kids get along because I know that this was a big issue in his pervious relationship? Also Nige, what does "hang-in there" mean? Do you think I am being used? Or is he sussing things out? Can you please give some advice? Cheers, Mary - Hampton, Victoria Hi Mary, WOW - talk about long-winded! I might have to charge you just for reading that!! ;-) Just kidding! But thanks for the background. You know, I can't work this guy out either...after 15 years you now both have the opportunity to turn this into a fabulous romantic story but he seems unable to make the move. Where has this guy's masculinity gone? Does it even exist anymore??? It is about time for this guy to step up to the plate so where is this dinner for two he promised? I would ask him this in a very cheeky way but at the same time, I would demand an answer. In turn you are giving him the opportunity to prove himself. If he blows you off again then it is time to shut up shop. No looking after the dog, no helping him with his computer or any other lame thing that he needs done. I would even start dating other guys - the reason being that maybe jealously is the only thing that will call this guy to action. It's funny, but when guys think a great option is slipping away they often jump into action stations. But as always, it's up to you as you are in this situation and not me. So if you think that doing all the little things might make him finally do something then keep going. But I really feel that "he's just not that into you" (which would explain why he has not even made one pass at you!) and his comment of "hang in there" is a clear example of this. No true masculine man would ever say that to someone they were keen on! As yourself - why should you "hang in there"??? You are a women in demand and do not have time for hanging around. If a guy is interested then "game on", otherwise see you in another lifetime. Again Mary, it is up to you. But I believe that it is time for this guy to step up or it is time for you to outline to him that he may have missed the boat. Good luck and let me know how you go! Best Regards, Nige Email: nige54@nige54.com